Yes, it's been awhile since I blogged...such is the life of a wife/mom/nursing student. But I've made it through my medically supervised weight loss plan. I have to admit that it was a struggle because I was not as motivated as I wanted to be. I was initially...and lost 9 pounds. But then summer holidays, injuries, and school stress kinda kept my focus elsewhere. But I managed to lose about 17 pounds during the entire 6 months and 30 pounds total since the first of the year which, to be honest, is really good for me. So now I'm in the pre-op period where I have to get tests done. Nothing major...a psychological evaluation and a meeting with a bariatric dietician. Then they will submit my records to my insurance company for approval. If all goes well, my surgery will be December 8th. And I'm so glad that surgery is scheduled before Christmas. It gives me more time to recover before the holidays. Plus, my DH wants to go on a cruise in January so I should be able to be on soft foods by the time we go on vacation.
I've been trying bariatric vitamins and purchased a 90 supply so I'm ready to go after surgery. I got Bariatric Advantage which is good but I really don't like the calcium citrate. I'm going to get some chocolate calcium chews and use them every other day to help. I'm not really worried about the vitamins...I know I'm going to be good about getting them in after surgery.
Dave is getting use to the idea of me having the surgery. In a way, it's been good that it took so long to get here. He's much more ready for it now.
I'll update more often now that the surgery is closer. I'll talk more about how I'm feeling and all the changes I anticipate in the coming weeks. This is life-changing so I want to make sure that those that might be considering surgery understand what you may (or may not) experience yourself before surgery.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Pre-Op Diet Check-in: On My Way Down!
The medically-supervised diet class started on May 26th. It's once a month for six classes. Because it is an evening class, I topped out at 299 on the scale (at least it wasn't 300!). But I'm ALWAYS heavier at night, up to five pounds so that's pretty consistent with what I've been weighing in at home. I started the "diet" of 1600 calories on Tuesday, May 31st after the Memorial Day weekend (and our anniversary weekend - we celebrated six years!). Today I weighed on my scale at 290.0 which is great. Looks like I'm about four or five pounds down from my initial weight. I'm sure I'll weigh somewhere between 295-296 for the next class which is tomorrow night. As long as they see progress, that is all they care about so I think I'm in good shape.
I still haven't added formal working out into the mix yet. First I was sick for most of last week plus my sciatic nerve is still really bothering me. I'm going to bring that up when I talk to my doctor on our next appointment which is just two days away.
I haven't added any more videos online yet but I'm planning to do a video this afternoon after Daniel wakes up from his nap and gets some lunch. I'm studying for my first Nutrition in Health and Illness exam. I really want to ace my first test - it would make me feel more comfortable trying to cruise through and finish up this class quickly.
Not much else is going on. Dave has been working long hours and they have been feeding them at work at night so I haven't had to do any evening meals which makes it easier for me to follow my own plan. After this week, Dave wants to do the HCG diet to lose 40 pounds before his friend's wedding in August. I doubt he'll lose that much but I think he'll lose 20 pounds ok. I just hope he's able to keep it off before the wedding. I really don't want him to do the HCG thing but when he gets his mind set on something it's really hard to change his mind.
Well, that's the update for now. Check my YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/ColoradoAngela?feature=mhee for my videos.
I still haven't added formal working out into the mix yet. First I was sick for most of last week plus my sciatic nerve is still really bothering me. I'm going to bring that up when I talk to my doctor on our next appointment which is just two days away.
I haven't added any more videos online yet but I'm planning to do a video this afternoon after Daniel wakes up from his nap and gets some lunch. I'm studying for my first Nutrition in Health and Illness exam. I really want to ace my first test - it would make me feel more comfortable trying to cruise through and finish up this class quickly.
Not much else is going on. Dave has been working long hours and they have been feeding them at work at night so I haven't had to do any evening meals which makes it easier for me to follow my own plan. After this week, Dave wants to do the HCG diet to lose 40 pounds before his friend's wedding in August. I doubt he'll lose that much but I think he'll lose 20 pounds ok. I just hope he's able to keep it off before the wedding. I really don't want him to do the HCG thing but when he gets his mind set on something it's really hard to change his mind.
Well, that's the update for now. Check my YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/ColoradoAngela?feature=mhee for my videos.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
First Video Post on YouTube
Well, it's official! I'm on YouTube. I've started my videos of this journey. I think it will help to hear more about how I feel about certain things and, of course, you can SEE the progress I make as I go along. I don't really like the whole world knowing how much I weigh but that's a part of this entire journey. This is my BEFORE. Eventually I will have an after. Once I figure out how to add it to my blog site, I'll do so. But for now, this has to be a short post. Daniel is cranky and wants dinner! :-)
Monday, May 16, 2011
Started Protein Shakes: Monday, May 16, 2011
This weekend I did a lot of searching the various bariatric websites, blogs, and forums. Since protein shakes are going to be a big portion of what I "eat" post-surgery I decided to try some of the recommended stuff out there. I currently have a protein powder called "DESSERT" in my cupboard as well as a soy protein. I'll be using these pre-ops as much as possible. I also have some Myoplex Lite that I have to get rid of - they have too many carbs. So I'm fitting two shakes into my current diet until they are gone.
I purchased some chocolate and cookies 'n cream versions of PureProtein via Amazon.com along with a recommended shaker bottle. That should come this week and I'll be checking those out. I also figured out which vitamins I'll need to take post-op and came up with a recommended purchase that I'll put together once I have approval and a surgery date. For now though I'm taking the vitamins I currently have to get into the habit. I'm taking multi-vitamin, B-complex, calcium, vitamin C, and omega-3 fatty acids right now. I need to also start taking an iron supplement so I have to go through my stuff from work to find it. I'll do that tomorrow.
Well, got to go. Taking Daniel to get his haircut and then trying to finish cleaning out my closet today.
I purchased some chocolate and cookies 'n cream versions of PureProtein via Amazon.com along with a recommended shaker bottle. That should come this week and I'll be checking those out. I also figured out which vitamins I'll need to take post-op and came up with a recommended purchase that I'll put together once I have approval and a surgery date. For now though I'm taking the vitamins I currently have to get into the habit. I'm taking multi-vitamin, B-complex, calcium, vitamin C, and omega-3 fatty acids right now. I need to also start taking an iron supplement so I have to go through my stuff from work to find it. I'll do that tomorrow.
Well, got to go. Taking Daniel to get his haircut and then trying to finish cleaning out my closet today.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Friday, May 13th - Day after Bariatric Patient Seminar
It's truly amazing sometimes all that can happen in 24 to 36 hours. Since my last post, I went to the Poudre Valley Bariatric Patient Seminar at the Harmony Campus. Sarah watched Daniel and it was nice that he was able to spend some play time with Tyler. There were only 3 people in the room when I got there. One woman named Amber was there with her husband from New Mexico. The bariatric nurses was Becky. The seminar started right at 11 a.m. and she proceeded to go through the three different types of surgeries as well as what to expect post-op. About 20 minutes in to the seminar, another gentleman in his late 50s or 60s came in. He drove from Boulder. I was the only local.
It was a really good seminar and I'm glad it was a small class. I actually knew most of the information presented and was able to give some direction to Amber about checking out YouTube.com and some Gastric Bypass websites to find out more about the surgery as well as find out more the practical living experiences of those after surgery. She was very appreciative. She was early 30s, about 350 pounds, and has Type 2 Diabetes. The older gentleman there also had diabetes. I actually felt small and pretty healthy compared to the other two.
I came away from the seminar more convinced that gastric bypass is the right choice for me. And Dave and I talked about it extensively last night when he came home from work. He was still a bit defensive, feeling that I was thinking that if I had this surgery and lost the weight that my life would be perfect. I obviously told him no. I know it won't make my life perfect. But I did tell him that it would make me feel better about myself, feel more outgoing, feel more comfortable in my own skin, and overall more happy. It lead to another marriage discussion and I knew exactly what was going on at that point. I asked him if he thought that if I lost the weight that I'd start being attracted to other guys. You know, I guess if the shoe was on the other foot I'd definitely be thinking the same thing I guess. But I told him that I'd probably be very uncomfortable when I start getting attention from other guys and that I'd need his help to get them off my back. So then I just reassured him that the reason that I was wanting to do this was for me, our marriage, our family, and most especially for Daniel. I don't want to do this for vain reasons although fitting into a normal size pair of jeans is definitely the goal - but not to attract guys - to look and feel normal. Maybe that is being a bit too simplistic but I can honestly say that I don't know what it will be like for me to be a normal size and that it is going to take some adjustments and I need my husband's love and support to go through this journey.
In the end, I told Dave that I'd like to move forward and take the 6 month nutrition class required by insurance. He said yes, that he's supporting me moving forward. It's interesting but I'm totally comfortable with some of the sacrifices I'll have to make in terms of diet and exercise. To me, it's really not a big deal. I told him I lived for three years eating extremely healthy and never going to fast food joints and I didn't miss a thing. He agreed - in the end that fast food is probably better left alone anyway. But sugar - like ice cream which he proceeded to eat it front of me - he says that he could never do it. He asked me how'd I'd feel when he was eating ice cream and I wasn't. I told him it would likely be the same as it was now - I didn't want any and didn't care that he ate it. No big deal. But I told him that reality is that I'll probably have head hunger to deal with during the journey and that I'll just have to learn to deal with it. And cravings for certain foods - we'll I'm sure I can find suitable substitutes.
After the discussion, I think we both felt better. I think he realizes how serious I'm taking this and how I've already thought about most everything that he's thinking about. I'm very happy that we had that discussion. I think Dave is more supportive now. His only concern is who will take care of me and Daniel post-op so I'm going to have to solicit some help for that. Either my mom, Laurie, or maybe even Bobbi. I'll have to talk to them about my plans closer to the Fall and ask for their support and see if the would be willing to travel to Colorado to help. I'll certainly call on our church as well. And I'm sure Sarah will help too.
Next on the agenda. Getting ready for the nutrition class and starting to prepare now for post-op. I'll need to be taking lots of vitamins afterward so I'm going to get into the habit now and then research the types that I'll need after surgery. I'll also be getting samples of protein shakes and other items I'll want to try for the post-op diet for the first couple of months when the diet is mostly liquids and soft foods. Next week I have to go to the lab to do a full blood panel for my primary care doctor. She wants to make sure we have a baseline for before surgery. Plus I have to set up an appointment with my ob/gyn and get my medical records from her as well. I need documentation that I've been morbidly obese for the last 3 to 5 years. Duh, no problem there!
Well, gonna try to organize my dressers today and maybe start on my closet. Need to get as much stuff done before my next nursing class starts in about 10 days. The class is "Nutrition in Health and Illness." A good class to do during this time I think. All things happen for a reason.
It was a really good seminar and I'm glad it was a small class. I actually knew most of the information presented and was able to give some direction to Amber about checking out YouTube.com and some Gastric Bypass websites to find out more about the surgery as well as find out more the practical living experiences of those after surgery. She was very appreciative. She was early 30s, about 350 pounds, and has Type 2 Diabetes. The older gentleman there also had diabetes. I actually felt small and pretty healthy compared to the other two.
I came away from the seminar more convinced that gastric bypass is the right choice for me. And Dave and I talked about it extensively last night when he came home from work. He was still a bit defensive, feeling that I was thinking that if I had this surgery and lost the weight that my life would be perfect. I obviously told him no. I know it won't make my life perfect. But I did tell him that it would make me feel better about myself, feel more outgoing, feel more comfortable in my own skin, and overall more happy. It lead to another marriage discussion and I knew exactly what was going on at that point. I asked him if he thought that if I lost the weight that I'd start being attracted to other guys. You know, I guess if the shoe was on the other foot I'd definitely be thinking the same thing I guess. But I told him that I'd probably be very uncomfortable when I start getting attention from other guys and that I'd need his help to get them off my back. So then I just reassured him that the reason that I was wanting to do this was for me, our marriage, our family, and most especially for Daniel. I don't want to do this for vain reasons although fitting into a normal size pair of jeans is definitely the goal - but not to attract guys - to look and feel normal. Maybe that is being a bit too simplistic but I can honestly say that I don't know what it will be like for me to be a normal size and that it is going to take some adjustments and I need my husband's love and support to go through this journey.
In the end, I told Dave that I'd like to move forward and take the 6 month nutrition class required by insurance. He said yes, that he's supporting me moving forward. It's interesting but I'm totally comfortable with some of the sacrifices I'll have to make in terms of diet and exercise. To me, it's really not a big deal. I told him I lived for three years eating extremely healthy and never going to fast food joints and I didn't miss a thing. He agreed - in the end that fast food is probably better left alone anyway. But sugar - like ice cream which he proceeded to eat it front of me - he says that he could never do it. He asked me how'd I'd feel when he was eating ice cream and I wasn't. I told him it would likely be the same as it was now - I didn't want any and didn't care that he ate it. No big deal. But I told him that reality is that I'll probably have head hunger to deal with during the journey and that I'll just have to learn to deal with it. And cravings for certain foods - we'll I'm sure I can find suitable substitutes.
After the discussion, I think we both felt better. I think he realizes how serious I'm taking this and how I've already thought about most everything that he's thinking about. I'm very happy that we had that discussion. I think Dave is more supportive now. His only concern is who will take care of me and Daniel post-op so I'm going to have to solicit some help for that. Either my mom, Laurie, or maybe even Bobbi. I'll have to talk to them about my plans closer to the Fall and ask for their support and see if the would be willing to travel to Colorado to help. I'll certainly call on our church as well. And I'm sure Sarah will help too.
Next on the agenda. Getting ready for the nutrition class and starting to prepare now for post-op. I'll need to be taking lots of vitamins afterward so I'm going to get into the habit now and then research the types that I'll need after surgery. I'll also be getting samples of protein shakes and other items I'll want to try for the post-op diet for the first couple of months when the diet is mostly liquids and soft foods. Next week I have to go to the lab to do a full blood panel for my primary care doctor. She wants to make sure we have a baseline for before surgery. Plus I have to set up an appointment with my ob/gyn and get my medical records from her as well. I need documentation that I've been morbidly obese for the last 3 to 5 years. Duh, no problem there!
Well, gonna try to organize my dressers today and maybe start on my closet. Need to get as much stuff done before my next nursing class starts in about 10 days. The class is "Nutrition in Health and Illness." A good class to do during this time I think. All things happen for a reason.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Starting the journey to weight loss surgery - Part 2
On Wednesday, May 4th, I sent an email that changed the future course of my life...at least for right now. I emailed Michelle at the Poudre Valley Bariatric clinic. Two days later we connected by phone. She told me my insurance would cover any three of the procedures they do there. She asked if I wanted to come to an informational seminar and start the six months of pre-op diet and exercise that were required. Without talking to my husband or thinking about all the specifics, I said "yes."
On Sunday, May 8th - Mother's Day - my husband Dave and I had a fight. It was one of those fights where one person does something innocently but the other person takes it the wrong way and blows up. Well, this fight was unintentionally started by me when I ripped some bumper stickers that were pelling off the back of my Saturn. My husband saw it and just went ballistic! To be honest, I just saw stickers that were pelling. For some reason, my husband thought that I was pelling them off to spite him. Huh? Really? Seriously? But, marriage being what it is some times, that's what Dave felt even though I didn't mean to make him angry. It lead to a several hour session where we talked through some communication issues and we both told each other that we loved each other. Our fights tend to be very good therapy. Anyway, it was during this discussion that I told Dave that I was looking into weight loss surgery and that I really wanted to move forward with it. Surprisingly, he didn't immediately say no. To be honest, I think he was shocked. We talked a lot. I was honest for the first time in several years about how horrible I feel about my weight, how I feel that he treats me sometimes because of the weight, and the fact that I needed to do something because we have to think of Daniel now. Although he wants to learn more, I think Dave will be at least 80% on board by the time I have the surgery! :-)
On the Monday after Mother's Day, I confirmed appointments with the bariatric clinic to go to a seminar this Thursday (May 12th) and start my six-month diet and exercise class starting May 26th. I also needed to get my primary care physician in on it. Since I didn't have one, I looked up a female family doctor who practices just a mile away from my home. I met with Dr. Julie Hoffman yesterday and it was FABULOUS! She was very knowledgable and supportive of this step that I'm taking and agreed to be my primary care physician and walk me through the next six month of pre-op requirements. So now I will see her monthly to do a physical, lab work, and thorough documentation on the progress of my diet plan through Poudre Valley. She did a six-month rotation with the surgical team there at Poudre Valley so she understands the requirements and knows exactly what I need to do as well. WOW! I was very glad and blessed that she was the doctor I chose through the Blue-Cross/Blue-Shield website.
Over the past few days, I've been gearing up for the bariatric surgery seminar tomorrow. They will go over the three procedures they do...Lap Band, Vertical Sleeve, and Gastric Bypass. I've ruled out Lap Band now because I don't want to go through so much hassle with getting a foreign object placed in my body and having frequent office visits for adjustments. I decided that if I'm going to do this...surgery...it was going to be permanent. I want a tool that will help me get to my goal weight and stay there. So vertical sleeve and gastric bypass are at the top of the list right now. Currently, I'm favoring gastric bypass but considering vertical sleeve too. So we'll see what I finally decide later.
I ordered "Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies." It arrives today. I read some great reviews saying that it was a great resource for those considering surgery and go through it. I've also been watching tons of YouTube videos. I might vlog later in addition to blogging, but for now I'm going to stick with writing.
My current stats are: 293.8 lbs, 5' 5 1/2" tall, large frame. My BMI is 49. My body fat according to my scale is 44%. My bone mass is 7.3% (which is high - normally the bone mass of a 20 year old male). My lean body mass is around 131 pounds. Figuring a 20% body fat, my ideal weight would be 157 pounds. That's 136.8 pounds that I need to lose. My guess is that I can probably get down to 280 pounds pre-op. According to the BMI calculator, I need to be at 150 pounds to be considered "normal" and not "overweight." I'm sure that I will lose some muscle during this journey so I figure that if I land anywhere between 150 and 160, I'm golden!
So, these are my initial thoughts as I start this journey toward weight loss surgery. I am going to drop the weight forever. I hope that you'll enjoy the journey with me. I need all the support I can get.
On Sunday, May 8th - Mother's Day - my husband Dave and I had a fight. It was one of those fights where one person does something innocently but the other person takes it the wrong way and blows up. Well, this fight was unintentionally started by me when I ripped some bumper stickers that were pelling off the back of my Saturn. My husband saw it and just went ballistic! To be honest, I just saw stickers that were pelling. For some reason, my husband thought that I was pelling them off to spite him. Huh? Really? Seriously? But, marriage being what it is some times, that's what Dave felt even though I didn't mean to make him angry. It lead to a several hour session where we talked through some communication issues and we both told each other that we loved each other. Our fights tend to be very good therapy. Anyway, it was during this discussion that I told Dave that I was looking into weight loss surgery and that I really wanted to move forward with it. Surprisingly, he didn't immediately say no. To be honest, I think he was shocked. We talked a lot. I was honest for the first time in several years about how horrible I feel about my weight, how I feel that he treats me sometimes because of the weight, and the fact that I needed to do something because we have to think of Daniel now. Although he wants to learn more, I think Dave will be at least 80% on board by the time I have the surgery! :-)
On the Monday after Mother's Day, I confirmed appointments with the bariatric clinic to go to a seminar this Thursday (May 12th) and start my six-month diet and exercise class starting May 26th. I also needed to get my primary care physician in on it. Since I didn't have one, I looked up a female family doctor who practices just a mile away from my home. I met with Dr. Julie Hoffman yesterday and it was FABULOUS! She was very knowledgable and supportive of this step that I'm taking and agreed to be my primary care physician and walk me through the next six month of pre-op requirements. So now I will see her monthly to do a physical, lab work, and thorough documentation on the progress of my diet plan through Poudre Valley. She did a six-month rotation with the surgical team there at Poudre Valley so she understands the requirements and knows exactly what I need to do as well. WOW! I was very glad and blessed that she was the doctor I chose through the Blue-Cross/Blue-Shield website.
Over the past few days, I've been gearing up for the bariatric surgery seminar tomorrow. They will go over the three procedures they do...Lap Band, Vertical Sleeve, and Gastric Bypass. I've ruled out Lap Band now because I don't want to go through so much hassle with getting a foreign object placed in my body and having frequent office visits for adjustments. I decided that if I'm going to do this...surgery...it was going to be permanent. I want a tool that will help me get to my goal weight and stay there. So vertical sleeve and gastric bypass are at the top of the list right now. Currently, I'm favoring gastric bypass but considering vertical sleeve too. So we'll see what I finally decide later.
I ordered "Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies." It arrives today. I read some great reviews saying that it was a great resource for those considering surgery and go through it. I've also been watching tons of YouTube videos. I might vlog later in addition to blogging, but for now I'm going to stick with writing.
My current stats are: 293.8 lbs, 5' 5 1/2" tall, large frame. My BMI is 49. My body fat according to my scale is 44%. My bone mass is 7.3% (which is high - normally the bone mass of a 20 year old male). My lean body mass is around 131 pounds. Figuring a 20% body fat, my ideal weight would be 157 pounds. That's 136.8 pounds that I need to lose. My guess is that I can probably get down to 280 pounds pre-op. According to the BMI calculator, I need to be at 150 pounds to be considered "normal" and not "overweight." I'm sure that I will lose some muscle during this journey so I figure that if I land anywhere between 150 and 160, I'm golden!
So, these are my initial thoughts as I start this journey toward weight loss surgery. I am going to drop the weight forever. I hope that you'll enjoy the journey with me. I need all the support I can get.
Starting the journey to weight loss surgery - Part 1
If you would have asked me two years ago if I would ever consider weight loss surgery, I would have said no. It would have been an absolute, unequivocal denial that Angela DeWispelaere would ever consider surgery to help with weight loss. And it would have been an absolute denial of the previous 30+ years of diet rollercoasting that I've done in my life. I'm the only morbidly obese person I know that has been fat since 3 years old, started their first diet officially at 8 years old, endured anorexia in high school to get the weight off, transitioned to bulimia through college and my 20s to slow the weight gain, and successfully lost over 500 pounds over the course of my life.
And of course, gained 500 pounds back...and then some.
No, I'm not 500 pounds...but some times it feels that way. And at certain times in my life I really wondered if I would be one of those pitiful women that I was scared of becoming who actually were 500 pounds.
After I had my son Daniel in January of 2010, the way I looked at my weight loss journey changed dramatically. First when I got pregnant, I was delusionally hopeful that somehow pregnancy would "reset" my hormone issues (polycystic ovarian syndrome, congenital adrenal hyperplasia, and pituitary tumors). When I became pregnant, all of a sudden I felt "normal" in terms of my appetite for the first time in my life...very ironic. I only gained 21 pounds during my pregnancy which was completely amazing and I hoped that when I delivered that the weight would come off easily, that breastfeeding would aid the weight loss, and I would magically become this thin person. Okay, yes, it was delusional - but yes, sometimes I actually thought that. Reality was that, yes, I lost the 21 pounds easily. Within two weeks I was at my pre-pregnancy weight of 288. But my dream of breastfeeding came to an abrupt halt. My hormone issues impacted my ability to produce breastmilk and I stopped pumping after one month. I started Weight Watchers 6 weeks after delivery and lost four pounds immediately and then...stopped. I would experience 1/2 pound up, 1/4 pound down, 1 pound up, 1/2 pound down. I spent weeks and weeks of this. I'd done Weight Watchers successfully many times, losing 70 pounds at least twice. But now, at 284 pounds, I wasn't losing any weight. I went back to work and started just using Weight Watchers Online but eventually the stress of going back to work impacted my ability to even track. Slowly over the course of a year, I worked my way back up to 308 pounds (eeeeeekkkkk!).
That's when I had one of those ahh moments. I was 40 years old, over my self-imposed barrier of 300 pounds, under the worst stress of my life, and desperate for something to change in my life. I'd been taking nursing classes with anticipation of entering nursing clinicals in May 2012. Through my classes, bariatric surgery had come up several times. In my classes, obesity was talked about in terms of it being a disease. For me, I still consider it a symptom of other disease but it was the first time that I took a long hard look at what would happen to me over the long-term if I didn't get the weight off. Now that I had Daniel, I knew that it was time to consider other options. In September or October of 2010, I looked into the Lap Band procedure. It was termed the least risky so I did some research, watched a lot of online videos, and started to have hope for the first time. Then I contacted the Poudre Valley Bariatric clinic and found out that my employer's insurance would not cover the procedure. At that point, I was heart-broken. I was just starting to get hope again. I decided to enter Allergan's contest for Free Lap Band surgery...but I didn't get it. So in January of 2011, I had given up hope and started on yet another weight loss program.
On January 17, my world changed. I got laid off! :-)
I smile because it was one of the best days of my life and was one event that, to date, changed everything. Fortunately in December, my husband decided to sell his business and started a new sales job. When I got laid off, we knew we would have to switch to their insurance. At the end of March, my employer's insurance ran out so we moved to my husband's insurance, Blue Cross Blue Shield.
It is now May. Ten days ago I was finishing up my Anatomy and Physiology 2 class online. We had a previous discussion during one of the units about obesity. One of my ignorant classmates made the mistake of jumping all over people who become obese and those who end up considering surgery. The student basically took the position that obese people were lazy and that surgery was the "easy way out." I wanted to reach through my computer screen and strangle her! So on Monday, May 2nd, for some odd reason I started to think about bariatric surgery again and did some research.
To hear the rest of the story, read Part 2! :-)
And of course, gained 500 pounds back...and then some.
No, I'm not 500 pounds...but some times it feels that way. And at certain times in my life I really wondered if I would be one of those pitiful women that I was scared of becoming who actually were 500 pounds.
After I had my son Daniel in January of 2010, the way I looked at my weight loss journey changed dramatically. First when I got pregnant, I was delusionally hopeful that somehow pregnancy would "reset" my hormone issues (polycystic ovarian syndrome, congenital adrenal hyperplasia, and pituitary tumors). When I became pregnant, all of a sudden I felt "normal" in terms of my appetite for the first time in my life...very ironic. I only gained 21 pounds during my pregnancy which was completely amazing and I hoped that when I delivered that the weight would come off easily, that breastfeeding would aid the weight loss, and I would magically become this thin person. Okay, yes, it was delusional - but yes, sometimes I actually thought that. Reality was that, yes, I lost the 21 pounds easily. Within two weeks I was at my pre-pregnancy weight of 288. But my dream of breastfeeding came to an abrupt halt. My hormone issues impacted my ability to produce breastmilk and I stopped pumping after one month. I started Weight Watchers 6 weeks after delivery and lost four pounds immediately and then...stopped. I would experience 1/2 pound up, 1/4 pound down, 1 pound up, 1/2 pound down. I spent weeks and weeks of this. I'd done Weight Watchers successfully many times, losing 70 pounds at least twice. But now, at 284 pounds, I wasn't losing any weight. I went back to work and started just using Weight Watchers Online but eventually the stress of going back to work impacted my ability to even track. Slowly over the course of a year, I worked my way back up to 308 pounds (eeeeeekkkkk!).
That's when I had one of those ahh moments. I was 40 years old, over my self-imposed barrier of 300 pounds, under the worst stress of my life, and desperate for something to change in my life. I'd been taking nursing classes with anticipation of entering nursing clinicals in May 2012. Through my classes, bariatric surgery had come up several times. In my classes, obesity was talked about in terms of it being a disease. For me, I still consider it a symptom of other disease but it was the first time that I took a long hard look at what would happen to me over the long-term if I didn't get the weight off. Now that I had Daniel, I knew that it was time to consider other options. In September or October of 2010, I looked into the Lap Band procedure. It was termed the least risky so I did some research, watched a lot of online videos, and started to have hope for the first time. Then I contacted the Poudre Valley Bariatric clinic and found out that my employer's insurance would not cover the procedure. At that point, I was heart-broken. I was just starting to get hope again. I decided to enter Allergan's contest for Free Lap Band surgery...but I didn't get it. So in January of 2011, I had given up hope and started on yet another weight loss program.
On January 17, my world changed. I got laid off! :-)
I smile because it was one of the best days of my life and was one event that, to date, changed everything. Fortunately in December, my husband decided to sell his business and started a new sales job. When I got laid off, we knew we would have to switch to their insurance. At the end of March, my employer's insurance ran out so we moved to my husband's insurance, Blue Cross Blue Shield.
It is now May. Ten days ago I was finishing up my Anatomy and Physiology 2 class online. We had a previous discussion during one of the units about obesity. One of my ignorant classmates made the mistake of jumping all over people who become obese and those who end up considering surgery. The student basically took the position that obese people were lazy and that surgery was the "easy way out." I wanted to reach through my computer screen and strangle her! So on Monday, May 2nd, for some odd reason I started to think about bariatric surgery again and did some research.
To hear the rest of the story, read Part 2! :-)
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